parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

trust:

my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun

trust:

my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun

  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh
soupery:

these puppies believe in you, and you should too
soupery:

these puppies believe in you, and you should too
soupery:

these puppies believe in you, and you should too
soupery:

these puppies believe in you, and you should too

soupery:

these puppies believe in you, and you should too

goddess-river:

  1. That nudity is inherently sexual
  2. That people should be judged for their personal decisions
  3. That yelling solves problems
  4. That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
  5. That age correlates to importance
  6. That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
  7. That the default for someone is straight and cisgender

(Source: moon-sylph)

2srooky:

You can’t even call that a burn its so alkaline.

(Source: ribly)

  • me: -bounces leg-
  • classmate: did you know when you bounce your leg like that, it means your anxious or something
  • me: yeah?
  • classmate: you're like always boucing your leg
  • me: im literally always anxious

durnesque-esque:

alltheworldsbackstage:

My Costumer taught me his bitter song, and it is guaranteed to make you feel better, especially if sang with a group of people joining in. So I thought I’d share it for any of you who might need it

If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands

If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands

If you’re bitter and sadistic and about to go balistic

If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands

image

la-ruiva:

me trying to put my life back together

mookie000:

Addams inktober mookie000:

Addams inktober

mookie000:

Addams inktober

puberty has done you well, tyreesha

(Source: christmelonl)

chapmangamo:

Translated TV Shows
chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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chapmangamo:

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(Source: roryamy)

buzzfeed:

Kitty Forman: best mom or best mom?